Let's reflect on a few things, unconditional love and how you treat yourself. How often have you observed yourself treating other people differently than the way you treat yourself? What do you say to yourself? Are you as forgiving with yourself as you are with others?
From all the work I have done with people I have realised it's an observation exercise and realization, this is incredible and eye opening but it's a beautiful journey all the same.
We often say things to ourselves that we would never ever say to other people, for example - whenever you make a mistake you say things to yourself like; I will never get it right, I knew it wouldnt work, how dumb am I, I am ugly, I am useless.
Now imagine saying that to someone you love. It seems cruel, unkind, right? There are things we say to ourselves that we would never dare to say to others. Unconditional love doesn't judge.
Now, we have to ask ourselves, who is the most important person? The selfless answer is YOU.
When you learn to love You unconditionally and deeply, with no judgement, with no feeling of doubt, worry, or having the thought that you aren't good enough, everything changes around you and for you.
Unconditional love doesn't judge, it's kind, compassionate and empathetic.
When we want to experience something new, our old paradigms and stories will, by default, tell us why we shouldn't do that something new, fear sets in, this is normal. The first time you do something, of course you may not be as good at it as you want to be, but when you embark on that journey, that new thing that is a little bit uncomfortable, we leave our comfort zone. This is where magic happens. You have to do something that your body or mind is not used to doing.
A surprising 96-8 % of our behaviour is done automatically at a subconscious level. We are on autopilot, our bodies work to conserve energy this way. Our brains are designed to help us conserve as much energy as possible, e.g. We get out of bed in the morning, we do exactly the same thing, we pour our coffee the same way, we turn the shower on with the same hand.
We work in automation mode, including our thoughts. So we learn over time that we don't like doing new things, our bodies don't like it, it feels uncomfortable. So everytime we do something new and we make a mistake, we judge ourselves. Whereas we should be saying something like “...you know what, my body is used to autopilot, this is new, it will take a while, I just have to practice.”
We humans just usually automatically move into fear and judgement first. At this point you want to ask yourself what would unconditional love do? It certainly wouldn't judge.
So, just take small actions today, do one thing that you've never done before that will move you towards your ultimate goal. Let's never ever wait for it to be the perfect time to start because this will never happen. Something you've never done before will never begin perfectly.
So take the first step today, this is the first step in self leadership, this is the first step where you open up your heart unconditionally, to not be hard on yourself, to not judge yourself, and to just go for it, love yourself unconditionally without fear.
“Love is the absence of judgement” - Dalai Lama.
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